Obligation
by kurai ren
Summary: "I m sorry we put you and your father through so much pain. I m sorry for selfishly dumping this obligation on you and to the generations to come."


A/N: By the way this P.O.V. Will be from Doumeki`s Grandson. Which I' am not sure what would be his name. Though this isn`t the one from the manga, the one from the manga is Doumeki`s great-grandson but I decided to try to write happens in between the time when Doumeki watches over Watanuki to the time his Great Grandson did.

Bit of an A.U. ...Also it`s Yaoi or more likely Shonen Ai

Dsiclaimer: I do not own XXXHolic

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**Obligation**

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I could still remember what my grandfather taught me; Folklore, Archery, exorcism and a lot more. My Grandfather wasn`t very affectionate, but I know he cares for me, even though I was born from his son, which he created, not out of love but by obligation. My father said that he was saddened by this at first but slowly understood; he understood the pain and sacrifice both his parents had to endure. My Grandmother never loved my grandfather but only saw him as a friend, same goes for my Grandfather and so my father was created, not because they loved each other but they needed him. Although they loved him it was just sad knowing your parents never loved each other and that you were created only under marriage and obligation not love.

My father often told me tales about the wizard that grants wishes, the wizard that my grandfather also told him. This wizard was very kind, said my father, even though he gets agitated easily he was still kind. I haven`t met the wizard yet, my father said in due time, so for the mean time it was my father that would visit the wizard as I took care of my bed ridden Grandfather. Whenever my father would come home he would tell my grandfather about the wizard`s health and how he was fairing. Even if he didn`t show it, I knew my grandfather was pleased that the wizard was doing well. He and I are the same, said my father just as how he was like my Great-Great Grandfather.

My grandfather was always playing with a thimble. He would look at it and would cradle it carefully on his palm. It was almost like he was holding the most valuable thing in the world. Whenever I would come into his room the thimble would be cradled in his palm and he would be staring at it blankly, but still his eyes still show some emotion and now I have identified that emotion: It was love.

My Grandmother was no better, younger and healthier than my grandfather and yet she always seems so frail. She was dedicated, even if she didn`t love her husband but still I do not see unhappiness in her, nor in my Grandfather. She was a good cook but there were some instances wherein my Grandfather would not eat what she has made. She would smile at me or at my father but to my grandfather it would only be a friendly smile, not those sweet loving smile lovers give each other. My Grandfather Wasn`t helping either, He would only give my mother a blank look. But when my father told him about the wizard I would notice the slight twitch of his lip, almost as if he wanted to smile.

I felt sorry for my father. I was created out of his love for my mother, I see the love in his eyes, I was not made out of obligation, but out of love. At first my father loathed the wizard, my father said, but as time went by and he understood, what true sacrifice was, he understand what true love was. I did not understand this at first but slowly I did, and it started when my grandfather died.

Upon his death my grandfather gave me an egg, A little yellow egg. I just stared at it blankly. My grandfather said in voice so low that, in due time I would use the egg when the time is right and that I should not hesitate. I asked him what was it for and he replied:

_"...for the freedom of another."_

After his burial my father brought me to see a wizard. At first I only saw a boy, no older than I was. I was only fifteen when I first met him. The wizard smiled warmly at my father but when he saw me he bit his lower lip and muttered something under his breath, but still I heard the last part of his sentence: …just like him. At first I did not understand but in due time I did.

The wizard was strange indeed, He was very mysterious, sometimes he would wear weirdly revealing outfits, and his eyes are mismatched, he has one blue and one gold eye. I only saw those in anime and books my classmates would show me. He was nice enough, he would cook me dinner whenever I come by, which was every evening. He has these two girls who seem to be his assistants and this black rabbit like creature, which drinks like there`s no tomorrow.

The wizard seems to be very knowledgeable within the field of folklore and exorcism, especially if the wish requires that much. He was actually a wish granter; his home is actually a shop that sells wishes. Sometimes I`m set out for missions but they aren`t that harmful, I was wondering why he couldn`t do it himself. In fact I was rather curious on why the Wizard wouldn`t step out of his shop.

I asked father once, and he told me that the wizard was tied to the shop. I asked about the eye but my father told me that it was not his place to answer. I was always a little curious, everyone is. Once I asked the wizard, at first his face was blank but then he smiled sadly, almost as if he was missing someone. His hand grazed beneath his golden eye as he stared at nothing.

_"It was a sacrifice..." _he said, _"A sacrifice of someone very important to me..."_

He stared at me right at my golden eyes. He smiled sadly as he took a sip of his sake. I stared at him, curious as to his reaction. As if he was remembering as loving memory. He seemed so far away, so far away and out of reach. He was just like grandfather whenever he was holding on to his timble, he looked so far away. The wizard spoke again, my eyes snapped to his face ad he said in a low whisper:

_"You`re a lot like your grandfather," _He said with sad eyes_, "but you`re both so different as well."_

After that night, I came to think about my situation more often. Why was it that we watch over the wizard? why was it that the wizard seems to have a far away look whenever he talked about grandfather? why was it that my grandfather didn`t love my grandmother? so many questions, so many possible answers, but I can`t seem to find the right one.

I asked my father those very same questions one night. He sat silently as he listened to me speak. His face held something akin to sadness or pity. I observe his movements and reactions, although his face was calm in his eyes held so much pity and sadness. I could only ponder quietly as to why he felt that way. But even with all my questions he could only answer one sentence.

_"Love is a mysterious thing isn`t..." _he whispered.

Months and years have passed and as the days go by I came to like my daily visit to the wizard. Slowly he seemed to soften my cold heart and would sometimes make me feel all warm somehow. Somehow I came to like the way he talks, the way he smiles, the way he cooks, almost everything. It was worrying, but also very exciting.

My Grandmother then was also at her deathbed. She smiled at me kindly as she looked so far away. I held her hand. She had requested my presence and everyone respected our privacy. She was frail as usual and cheery. She was quiet for a while before she spoke in a hushed whisper.

_"Do you like your visits to the wizard?" _she had asked and I answered her witha nod.

_"That`s good to hear. Does he still cook well?" _I answered her with another nod.

"Is he well?" I nod again.

_"Is he happy?" _I hesitated, I couldn`t bring myself to nod for I knew the wizard was far from happy. His eyes always seem so.

_"That`s rather sad..."_ my Grandmother said,_ "I wanted him to be happy before I die..."_

I held her hand as she stayed quiet for a while. Her eyes seems so sad and distant, as if she was longing for something or someone. She gripped my hand softly as the tears fell from her eyes. I did not wipe they away for I felt that my Grandmother would not let me.

_"You know, your Grandfather and I...we never actually love each other..." _She whispers, _"I`m sorry we put you and your father through so much pain. I`m sorry for selfishly dumping this obligation on you and the generations to come."_

She continues on with her apologies. As she spoke I felt wetness trail down my face. I knew I was crying. I felt sad somehow, as if something was squeezing my heart. My grandmother reach out and wiped my tears, just as she did whenever I cried as a child.

_"You are so much like your grandfather, but very different as well..." _she said suddenly, _"He never cried...never shown any emotion...not even on our wedding day..." _she chuckled_, "You on the other hand my dear, your eyes would be the most expressive...I guess that`s what differentiates you from Shizuka..."_

She stayed quiet for a while before she spoke again, _"My time is almost up...please heed my selfish plea and take good care of Watanuki...please...this is the only request we would ask of you...the only selfish request Shizuka and I would ask..." _

I kissed her temple as she closed her eyes. she looked to peaceful, almost as if she was asleep. I stayed for a while, silently staring at her still form. Then I understood as to why we watch over the wizard, as to why my grandparents never loved each other, why they were sad, why I was enjoying my visits: _It was love always had been_.

As days went by, whenever I`m alone I would ponder over my realization. My Grandfather had always loved the wizard, same goes for my Grandmother, the wizard I would assume loved my grandfather. As for me, I assumed I was falling in love with the wizard. My thoughts would wonder very often to the wizard, our situation and to my feelings. Everything was complex and complicated. Very confusing and quite troublesome.

I decided to keep these feelings to myself. I took care of the wizard and would watch from afar. He still seemed sad, most especially when he would look at me. I looked so much like grandfather, I must be remind him of that person he loved. I never let my feelings known, I never let him see, II deny them myself, and I buried them deep within my heart and mind. Locked away so that I would survive the heart break, that we, would survive the heart ache.

Years went by and slowly I followed the tradition. I got married to a childhood friend, her family has always been close to my family. Her Grandmother knew my grandfather, they were very close in highschool. I love my wife, she was always there when I needed her. She was the only one who tolerated my stoic face and blank reactions. She would smile in return whenever I stare at her blankly.

My wife understood my duty and the duty of our descendants. Her Grandmother had also spoken of the wizard. She understood the duty and she would gladly help me in any possible way. I loved that about her as well, always there to lend a helping hand, always there for others.

But in the end I would realize that I still held emotions for the wizard I still visit everyday.

Even after the years go by the shop never changes. It does not age, does not wither, does not fall, but instead stands firm. The wizard himself never changes, never aged, it was as if time has stopped for him, preserving him into the stop and into this world. I don`t believe he`s immortal, he told me himself, nothing lives forever, but others could just be preserved.

Years went by and I was gifted with a son. He looked a lot like me, but as he grew, he was just like my grandfather. His eyes were not so expressive as mine, they were blank, like grandfather`s. He was very picky with his food, much like grandfather. As he grew, he showed much of grandfather`s personality and characteristics, almost as if he was his reincarnation. I told him of our duty and he only accepted with a blank stare and stoic face, much like grandfather`s.

On his fifteenth birthday, I gave him the egg that I inherited from my Grandfather. He stared at it blankly for a while, before he bore his eyes into mine, silently asking me what it was for. I smiled lightly as I said softly.

"It`s for the freedom for another..." I said, "Would you use it when the time comes?"

He seems to have understood, he stared at the egg with his blank eyes, but this time they held some kind of emotion: Determination.

"Of course, Otou-san." was his reply.

_"_Thank you._..Shizuka"_ I said with a smile.

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A/N: Please forgive any typographical errors or grammatical ones

I also hope this fic isn`t confusing in anyway

As to not to confuse you any further, the Girl the protagonist married is Himawari`s Grandchild...I know she got married with some other guy and so I thought that maybe her grandchild could marry one of Doumeki`s descendants

As for the Protagonist`s Grandmother...she is Kohane

Of course the Protagonist`s grandfather is Doumeki and the Wizard is Watanuki


End file.
